Creevey Brothers and the Violation of Copyright
by MinervaEvenstar
Summary: JKR's characters want to write their own books that's against the rules. Who stops them? WARNING: random spinoff titles cause tears of hilarity!


**Minerva's Note:** At first this got deleted for being a list, but now tis a story containing a list, thus tis acceptable. Enjoy!

_Disclaimer:_ The characters and the Harry Potter Universe are J.K. Rowling's toys; I just play with them.

**The Creevey Brothers and the Violation of Copyright**

Colin Creevey was at his flat putting the photographs he'd taken of Harry Potter on the computer scanner and taping the copies all over his bedroom walls until they were overlapping each other.

Dennis poked his head in the doorway. "Can I use the computer?"

"To go on-line? Yeah. I'm just using the scanner and printer," replied Colin amicably.

"Thanks." Dennis glanced at the walls. "That's a great one!" He gestured to a picture of Harry catching the Golden Snitch.

Colin smiled. "I took that in my first year."

"Wow," breathed Dennis, impressed. Then he visited a few Harry Potter fan sites, laughing as he read the speculations for the title of book seven.

Harry Potter and the League of Paperclips.

Harry Potter and the Untrained Noodles.

Harry Potter and the Planet of Sporks.

Harry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blue Nail Polish.

Harry Potter and the Domination of Potato Peelers.

Harry Potter and the Book Where Hufflepuff is Seen as the Best House.

Harry Potter and Voldie's Tea Party.

Harry Potter and the Book When Harry Doesn't go to the Infirmary Once.

Harry Potter and the Banjo Playing Death Eaters.

Harry Potter and the Umbrella Serial Killings.

Harry Potter and the Magic Knickers.

"Not even close," chortled Colin, hovering over Dennis' shoulder to see the screen.

Dennis nodded in agreement before clicking a link to another website that sold actual books.

How to Knit Hideous Jumpers that People Actually Wear by Molly Weasley

Why I'm Jealous I Don't Have a Cool Scar by Lord Voldemort

New Ways to Avoid Shampoo by Severus Snape

Ways to Greet Your Boss by Peter Pettigrew "My Lord, you look very terrifying today."

How to Grow an Impressively Long Beard by Albus Dumbledore

Most Effective Ways to Stalk a Redhead by James Potter

Meditations for PMS (Pre Moon Sickness) by Remus Lupin

My Journey to Becoming a Quidditch Announcor by Luna Lovegood

Sexiness Never Dies by Sirius Black "I never died; I'm too sexy to die...or eat olives."

Perfecting Your Evil Laugh by Lord Voldemort

Tips for Barbie-Themed Deathday Parties by Nearly Headless Nick

What it's Like Dating a Pug by Draco Malfoy

How to Escape Using a Comb by Harry Potter

A Collection of Fluffy Love Poems by Nagini "I'm the Dark Lord's snake! Why does everyone forget who I am!"

A Tale of Two Kitties by Crookshanks and Mrs. Norris

Reasons to Start Dating an Arrogant, Sexy, Trouble-making, Sexy, Selfish, Sexy Quidditch Player by Lily Evans "Did I mention he was sexy?"

Riddle me This by Tom Riddle "My favourite riddles before I became a psychopath."

Throw Quills at Voldie. It's Fun! by Lucius Malfoy

Will I Ever be a Super Model? by Kreatcher

"The Twin Thing" by Fred and George Weasley

Normal Verses Weird by Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood "Who will win?"

I'd Probably be Attractive if I Took my Hair Out of the Bun by Minerva McGonagall

Chasing Your Tail gets Boring After a While by Sirius Black

So What if I Collect Beanie Babies! by Severus Snape

What Matters is How Big You Feel on the Inside by Filius Flitwick

My Secret Ambition of Becoming a Rapper by Argus Filch

I've got my Eye on You by Alastor Moody

How to Gain Weight Fast by Horace Slughorn

Therapy Helps you Think Happy Thoughts by Moaning Myrtle

Giggle Like an Idiot and Stay Popular by Parvarti Patil and Lavender Brown

Mighty Parselmouth and the Holy Grail by Salazar Slytherin

My Love Affair with Salazar Slytherin by Godric Gryffindor

Why are my Eyes Red? Does Anybody _Really_ Know? by Lord Voldemort

I'm not a Dessert! by Cornelius Fudge

I see Young People by Dolorus Umbridge

394 Reasons Why Chocolate Fixes Everything by Remus Lupin

Dating for Dummies by Dobby "A tea cozy makes a good first impression."

The Biography of my Squirrel Family by Professor Quirrel

Memorize a Textbook in 5 Easy Steps by Hermione Granger

Suppose I Wore 3/4 Moon Spectacles Instead of 1/2 Moon Spectacles? by Albus Dumbledore

Keep Both Buttocks On by Alastor Moody

So You Wanna be a Ballerina? by Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle

Blondes have More Fun by Narcisssa Malfoy

Cute Freckles Make Life Easy by Ginny Weasley

Keys to "Black" Magic by Sirius Black

One Day I'll Rule the Wizarding World by Hedwig

The younger Creevey guffawed with hysterical laughter, however, the other appeared livid.

"What's wrong, Colin?"

"They're violating laws set by the woman who created my hero, Harry Potter!" Colin exclaimed in outrage.

"But even Harry wrote one," Dennis attempted to point out, though his brother was not listening.

Colin hastily threw on his cloak and mounted his Silver Arrow. He flew to Hogwarts as swiftly as someone apparating, for he could fly very swiftly, just not very well. After heading to McGonagall's office and fingering the time turner Hermione had handed back into her he stomped up the boys' staircase in Gryffindor Tower.

"Marauders?" he called uncertainly, opening the dorm door.

Four boys in school uniforms glanced up from the enchanted map they had been working on.

"Yes?" one boy with unruly black hair queried innocently.

Colin gathered up his Gryffindor courage and shook his finger warningly. "Don't try to fool me, James Potter. I know it was your lot that got everyone to break Ms. Rowling's copyright laws. I just don't know how."

"This is how!" declared the chubbiest of the foursome, holding up a leather bound book entitled The Marauders' Guide to Doing Illegal Things.

"Aha!" Colin snatched up the book.

"Wormtail, you are such an idiot," muttered an attractive lad with gray eyes.

"Sorry," the chubby boy squeaked.

Flipping his mousy hair out of his face, Colin said, "Well, if I eliminate all copies of this book then within twenty-four hours all of the other books will disappear too."

"You can't do that!" the last bloke yelled. "We'll just make another one; you'll never stop the Marauders! MUWHAHAHA!"

Colin blinked slowly. "Stay in character, Remus. You know being out of canon bothers Ms. Rowling."

Remus sighed and told his friends calmly, "He is right. We cannot risk Muggles figuring out the wizarding world is real because of our irresponsible actions."

"Whatever. Okay," murmured the other three, disappointed.

With a nod of approval Colin left and returned to his bedroom to admire his photographs of Harry.

**Minerva's note:** Which one of my random titles did _you_ like best?


End file.
